I never thought it would be possible now!

No. this is not about me having a manicure, but a reminder of my guests’ nails when we enjoyed a very memorable evening. I am also aware that it’s been a while since I posted an update. But I have been dealing a lot and searching for a house and packing. Something I had forgotten about the stress created by such activities…

Back in 2014, while cooking through another summer in another ‘restaurant’ I met my now, good friend Kenny, who I have mentioned before. However this not about him. Just that point in time and that location. We had a young woman by the name of Lleahan working with us in the kitchen. One day, when her family arrived for a meal, Kenny introduced me to Helen and friends who had arrived for a meal. Helen was a transgender male to female, in the process of transition. Apart from not having time to enter into conversation, I wasn’t where I am now. So things would not have been discussed as they might be now.

Karen, another dear friend, had suggested from early on when I came out to her, that I should try and find others like me to talk to for support and understanding. At the time, I didn’t remember meeting Helen. The subject arose again! Helen is a friend of Kenny, and subsequently, I managed to track Helen down and send a message to make contact.

We soon had  long chat online and discovered quickly that we had a lot of similarities in our lives. Understandably very different lives, but our personal gender issue had been so close by comparison. I should say, that she had a medical history that is unusual to say the least and in that respect we differ immensely.

By the end of the chat that evening we agreed that Helen would visit me. By this time she had already given me so much insight and information regarding life in France and in our region with regard to TG individuals. Not all good, but very helpful and thought provoking. I was looking forward to us meeting and hopefully having a new and special friend in my life.

Before the visit,Maddy (as I am allowed to call her as a friend) and I exchanged a little more by chat and messaging. I established that one of her favourite family meals was an Indian curry which I also enjoy very much and happy to cook for my friends.


Helen arrived a little before 5pm after a good hour drive. I made us both a cup of tea (we are both English – giggle) and sat on the sofa and we just started chatting like old friends in many ways. After non stop discussion continuing from out previous dialogue, plus many new topics, we eventually sat down to eat. The eating didn’t interrupt out talking too much and we casually chatted the night away. I was very much at ease in the company of Maddy. I feel that she too, was very relaxed and enjoyed the evening as much as I did.

She had transitioned fully in May this year and is still recovering for the surgery. Since our meeting and discussions, one of the things that has stuck in my head since then, is the fact that she informed me that I could follow the same path – possibly! And obviously, if I chose to.

When I made the choice to accept I that am Sophie, I never thought for one minute that it would ever be an option for at this stage of my life. Perhaps you can begin to imagine how this news had an impact on me since discovering that. I am however, learning that other people in general, do not understand very much about why I, and those like me wish to do what we have to do in our lives. We are ‘hard wired’ from birth and learn to live and deal with this, if we are lucky and able! So that’s it in a nutshell.

Providing that I live as a woman for two years, get a psychiatrist and psychologist and a doctor who is sympathetic, I could be given approval for free treatment and surgery here in France. Lyon is where they have some of Europe’s finest surgeons in this field. While I am naturally interested, I am also apprehensive, at my age, about following through with this. Maybe I simply don’t relish surgery and very painful surgery at that. However, this would not happen overnight and I have plenty of time to reflect on this and move to a new home. Plus, I would need to convince the powers that be, that it is something I genuinely want. I don’t doubt myself in how I think, just if I can answer as they require me to. But I am one of the worlds’ over thinkers….

I am hoping to see Maddy again soon and have been in contact while writing this.

I look forward very much to continuing from where we left that Sunday evening

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