15 January 2019
The thought that this was a possibilty had ocurred to me recently and changed the direction I was heading towards at the start of this year.
Discovering that I didn’t cope so well alone over the festive season and having painful sinus problems was not what I expected to encounter at the end of the year. It drew me to into a darker place and one I have avoided for quite some time. I first began writing this article in a very cold light of day style, a hard hitting account of that experience. However, coming back to work on this mid month I can offer a more objective and positive view. So I will not add to the low points in December as I’ve chosen to focus more on the better aspects of recent times.
The good parts
Amongst all the turmoil I suffered there were some very good and high points. I guess the highlight of the month and unlikely to be surpassed is –
A visit has been arranged to visit my daughter for a few days. Flights and trains now booked for April. I am pretty excited about the trip and really looking forward it. My local French mechanic has fixed a couple of annoying problems on my car. Bertie my older and gorgeous cat has survived into this year but remains in poor health due to a tumor that has grown while he has got thinner.
Perhaps the most powerful and personal of all was the idea that came into my thoughts towards the end of my low period and one that I made the title of this article.
A dream come true
I was thinking, analysing and reflecting on many things as I often do. And while contemplating my early life somewhere around 10 years of age, I recalled how I would dream of waking up as a young girl. Only to be disappointed the following morning yet again. My thoughts rapidly moved forward to my present life and appointments I have in the next few months. It suddenly hit me! What I was intending to do would in fact make that dream a reality. My eyes quickly filled with tears and rolled down my cheeks. I took a deep breath, then with great effort got my emotions under control. This was nothing to be sad about, quite the contrary indeed. The thought stayed with me quite prominently for the new few days. This idea combined with the visit planned in April has pushed me well and truely back into happy life. I have not become blasé about things, just happy.
Meanwhile, the outlook for the next couple of months looks to be very quite as of today. I have medical appointments in April, March and May for various aspects of my well being. Another scan to check on my heart, a meeting with the surgeon in Lyon and an eye test nearer to home. I’ve begun what I like to think of as a very early spring clean. The effect of a positive activity has given me the urge to decorate and progress with my house. But I fear financial pressure may restrict what I can do. I will need to be creative with my time and resources. I have two songs, one of which I have made a draft recording and another work in progress. It’s always a good sign when I become creative. It’s usually indicates that my life’s in balance and I am in a good place.
Yoga has slipped from my activities since mid December due to medical appointments, seasonal colds and sinus problems. While on the subject of yoga, I stumbled across an adorable calendar titled Yoga Cats Together. It combines good photography and photo manipulation skills with the added plus of cats in yoga positions. It was a Must Have item and is now hanging on my kitchen wall.
No sooner I published this article I noticed a few errors and I’m attempting to correct them all. Apparently the problem is well know among creative media types. Proof reading you own typing/writing is never the best approach. Believe it or not I do read through my text several times. Editing re-writing etc until it flows and makes sense. The software I use online for the site appears to have lost the spell check feature and I forget to copy the text to another programme to verify my typing. Impatience has always been a stumbling block for me and why I end up with errors in my posts. Maybe I will conquer that eventually!
Parting thought: 2019 may be the last year of this site, but 2020 is a long way off right now. So I reserve the right to continue or not…