Struggling with motivation, ‘retirementʼ and other aspects of living alone

31 May 2019

Becoming ‘un bénévole’

I have made the aquaintance of an English couple who are both artists and live close to my house. I have got to know Audrey better recently and she mentioned a presentation at the local theatre of forthcoming productions and events. She suggested it would be good for me to join her and her husband on the evening. Already convinced that I need to try and become more a part of where I live I agreed. I phoned to register my interest and secured my place for the following evening. I wasn’t totally sure what to expect, but that didn’t feel so important. On arrival at the crowded foyer I made my way to the ticket office collecting my ticket. Spotted my friends I joined them walking down the stairs to the theatre entrance. There were a few faces that I recognised but mostly people I had never seen before. We stood by the entrance for a short while before entering hall and sat in the front row at stage level. Three presenters from the theatre’s administration opened the evening with commentry with a big screen backdrop of stills and video clips of several theatrical productions and musical entertainment for the festival in July. I liked the look of the music but thought I may find the theatrical productions difficult to understand. What followed was a complete surprise for me. A four piece Argentinian group Cuarteto Tafi entertained us with percussion, classical guitar, bouzouki and great vocals for about an hour. The evening concluded with canapes and champagne fruit cocktails in the foyer where we mingled.

While doing my best to make conversation with a few people I discovered the theatre’s need for volunteers for the festival and began asking questions. The result of which took me back to the theatre the next day. I have since returned a form to offer my help either in the kitchen or behind the bar during the festival in July.

On a collision course?

While in one of my thinking/reflecting moments I considered the idea that, ‘living as I did for so many years had put my life on an inevitable collision course’. Every relationship I had failed within 11 years. They would have probably failed earlier but circumstances held them together longer than was healthy. Three 11 year relationships!

I have to interpret my history in a positive way regardless of how I feel about it now. While current developments or lack of, force me to consider how things could have been. That doesn’t really help when you take a realistic view of your situation. To end on a positive note, I have made an appointment at the hospital in just under four weeks when I hope to discover the outcome of my treatment so far this year to help clarify future posibilites. Fingers crossed.

The end of the month finishes with a surprise!

I have some very nice friends in the town one of which is Claire, the wife of my plumber. She is one of a few people that has been looking out for work for me and make me aware of anything suitable they find. A summer position had been advertised in a restaurant about 20 minutes from home. I went for and interview with the French owners at the beginning of the week and was asked to return for a test in the kitchen last night at 6.30pm, Friday the last day of May. I can say that things appeared to have gone well. The only task I had was to turn a large bowl of pizza dough into 24 balls, roll each one out to cover a cooking tray and pre-cook them for later use. I’ve made my own pizzas but never in a restaurant with fresh dough. Once I perfected the technique of getting the dough very thin and even and placing them on the trays without them sticking when cooking, my speed of production increased. I finished my session albeit a little dusty with flour I prepared two pizzas for an order. Nothing difficult but every chef has thier own way of doing things. So under the guidance of Stephane I made both that were cooked and served immediately. I return on Monday morning to discuss details of the 7 day a week position for the next three months.

Suddenly my summer looks as if it could be quite different to how I imagined it was going to be. That’s not a complaint, but not the first time I’ve created a vegetable garden and had difficulty in giving it my attention due to work. Perhaps I may manage it differently this year if I’m lucky.

One thought on “Struggling with motivation, ‘retirementʼ and other aspects of living alone

  1. It’s good to see you are integrating with your local community and have support. I hop your summer is fulfilling and brings you broadening horizons and a healthy garden too. Most of all I hope for you that the treatments have made the difference in paving the way to your goals.

    Hugs, Cloe

    Liked by 1 person

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