Free wheeling

21 September 2019

Sunday afternoon and time to reflect on a few things with just over a week remaining before August arrives. It’s been a hot summer with almost no rain. My vegetable garden managed to produce a flavourful crop, unfortunately stunted by savage heat and a lack of water. It hasn’t been a very eventful period. I’m not sure if that is a good or not.

It has generally been a pleasant month. I managed to begin the redecoratation of my bedroom. Motivation has continued to be an obsticale. However, as I progressed with decorating it spurred me on as the transformation began. The knock-on effect has been to create a desire to continue throughout the house, which is not possible. The replacement of the large double window in my kitchen has been delayed due to items out of stock with a possible two month delay. Just enough time to fit it before the cold weather sets in. My bread making has developed too. I’ve experimented with fresh yeast and varying sizes of loaf. I am still not quite satisfied with the results but have more adjustments to technique yet to try.

A visit to the coast this week with a friend was a welcome break, enjoyable and a wonderful day. Excellent weather, nice food with great company. It reminded me how much I like the coast and would be very happy to live nearer to the sea.

It’s not unusual that I find myself analysing my thoughts, events and possibilties – sometimes a little too much. While my situation has been a relatively happy time since my last article, I couldn’t help feeling that things were as if I were cycling, then stop pedaling and free wheeling, waiting for the next hill. Biding my time until the next hospital appointments next month. At which point I felt that perhaps the concept wasn’t the best way to look at my situation. So I began to consider why I had thought that.

I think I understand my basic issue: I am not where I want to be yet and things feel like they are moving too slow. I have always been impatient! My birthday is aproaching again and I simply wish to exisit and enjoy my life in a way that I feel I should be living. The result of all of this manifests in frustration about things beyond my control.

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