28th January 2020
It’s here, a new decade. I am sure I recall that some years ago 2020 was heralded in stories, films etc., as a time for futuristic happenings such as space travel and wonderful scientific developments. Sure, life has moved on but not always in a good way. There are still people, around the world suffering, hungry, exploited and much, much more. Add to that the plight of animals and forestation also under threat. Is that the price of progress? I hope not. In many ways I live in my own bubble here in France. I expose myself to a minimal amount of so called ‘news’ and given up reading newspapers a long time back. All quite easy living in a semi rural part of France. Away from industry, pollution, technology, large volumes of people and traffic. My contact with the big wide world is mainly through a computer and internet, where equally news is far from encouraging these days.
January 3rd and things are not so good. I’ve felt quite unwell and not sure why. Perhaps a virus, as plenty going around right now. My central heating has stopped working and hoping that it’s just low oil causing the issue. A delivery organised for next Tuesday evening so fingers crossed. Heating oil is expensive and hits my finances quite hard and this will be no exception. Basically it means the next three months will require me to be prudent with my expenditure and lifestyle. I will however return to my yoga classes and need to have my car serviced. Both things I need to do for my peace of mind and health.
Winter hasn’t kicked in just yet but temperatures are falling at night. My thanks go out to whoever invented the electric blanket. Today I am putting the Christmas decoration away for another year and some general domestic chores. So nothing exciting as we head towards the weekend.
Thursday 15th and today I have been uplifted. I’ve not long been back home from a visit to the hospital and just finished a much needed and very late lunch. Believing my meeting was with the surgeon again from the details of a letter. However, I met with a specialist nurse who will be supporting me from now regarding surgery. I have one or more meetings with the psychologist and one with the endocrinologist next month. Then it steps up a level in April when I will meet the complete team of specialist together in one room to discuss pending surgery. I think the purpose may partly be to ensure that I understand everything completely before giving my consent and signing on the dotted line. A legal person will be present to ensure that I am fully conversant with the procedure, outcome and risks. But I am putting my own interpretation to that just now. When in the meeting early today I hadn’t absorbed the implications of the meeting quickly enough to be in a position to pose questions!
It is hard to believe that this is really happening after so, so long. I am feeling slightly overwhelmed this afternoon by the development today as it was un expected – but very welcomed. I couldn’t be happier to finally know that I have not only managed to sort my life out but also get into the French system and discover this was all possible under the social system. I’m feeling quite proud of myself. There have been a few tears, not only from me over the years during my three relationships. But the past cannot be changed and I accept that. Being regretful is easy to find yourself indulging in, but it’s not helpful and a negative activity. To learn from it is the better outcome. I think that I have resolved most of the issues in my life and able to move on without more complications than necessary.
Astrology and Tarot readings? I remain openminded about many things in life until I learn differently about something. I have read about both and my mother could read tarot cards. Recently and prompted by a friend’s interest, I was drawn into both again. I add this as it was interesting and all very positive. The various sources that I looked at all gave very positive outlooks for this year. If half of what they predict actually proves to be true, I will be have very big smile on my face as we enter into 2021 and let you know
Saturday 25th. Chinese New Year and St Patricks day. The sun is shining right now and I have a fully belly after throughly enjoying a home made Couscous. One of my favourite dishes. More so today having discovered a new food shop where I bought some Mergeuz sausages that made rather special today.
I had a meeting with the psychologist on Thursday afternoon to discover the results of the MMPI 2 personality test of 567 questions given to me at the last meeting. We sat down at her desk and she opened a folder with the results. A single sheet with a line graph on it sat in front of her. She looked up and began to explain the results. My score had fallen within a grey bar across the centre of the graph, signifying that I was within a ‘normal average’. She went on to say that I was ‘stable’ with no signs of pschopathalogical tendanices! I not sure why psychopathy was such an important aspect but surely worrying if your were. She continued by reading her handwritten notes describing my personality traits, with a slight intonation of it being a question. I assume it was to see if I agreeded with the comments. I am pleased to say that the results were all very positive and encouraging for me. We have a further appointment March 30th with her and the psyhciatrist. She reassured me that should I feel the need to talk to someone about any concerns she was there to support me. I ended by giving her the web address for this site as a further aid for them to learn and understand about me. I honestly do feel I don’t really need their counselling right now but who knows after the operation.