Are your still trying to understand who or what you are, perhaps having doubts and questions that are not easy to resolve? Suffered feelings of shame, failure or self-loathing, finding it difficult to discuss issues and feel alone, or circumstances preventing you from resolving the problems.
I was that person for much of my life, until things changed in a way I had not planned or sought. However, it brought about huge changes that eventually set me free from years of anguish and internalising. I hope my account may be of help to those of you who are in need of some assistance and direction.
Change for the better
After a break of a few years, I decided to return to a website that I discovered in 2016. A time when I needed something in my life to help understand what I was going through. I was living alone, with no work and little income. Not only did the site offer support and information, others like me who offered their kindness and understanding. It was a life-line that I needed badly and very happy to have found it. You may have already begun to ask why I left the site, why did I return and what was the site?
To put things in perspective, there were two sites that I need to mention for you to understand. The first, was named and presented superficially at crossdressers, what I vaguely believed I was at that early point on this path. I was just happy to have found a site that was dedicated to supporting its members, a mixed bag all gender types including partners and wives of members. I hadn’t been a member for more than a few months, before I was asked to become an ambassador, adding the role of editor shortly after. I monitored chat, wrote and edited articles and helped where I could. As the months passed by and my own life was developing and changing, I started to feel a mis-alignment with many of the members. Feelings of being more than a crossdresser grew stronger. A side of me that grew daily since accepting who I had been all my life.
While I was still a member, discussion began for a second site, specifically for Transgender, to run alongside the original site. This was encouraging and I transferred to the new site. Unfortunately, I had already moved further away from both sites, or feeling a part of that online community. I needed to sort out my own life, and so, resigned from them both to focus on sorting out my life.
The first site was Crossdresser Heaven and the second, Transgender Heaven. I kept in touch with a few from the sites and sent messages from time to time, but nothing more. My life has moved on considerably since leaving the sites. I have grown in confidence, under-going hospital treatment towards surgery and living a life I am happy with. With all the bad internal feelings gone. No more guilt, shame or self disapproval, I was able to enjoy my life more than ever before.
From time-to-time, I found myself thinking of those I encountered on the sites, the problems and difficulties many lived with. I wanted to give back some of what I had been honoured to receive as a member. It drifted into my thoughts more and more over the past year, long before we found ourselves in confinement. I visited the site to see how much had changed, but it was hard to tell without signing-up again. And then it happened!
Once again, I am a member, ambassador and editor, who is very happy to be part the team to help.
Should you like to see what these sites can offer you in the way of support, advice, friendship and more, here are the web address: