From a bad start
The end of 2019 didn’t finish on a high for me, it hadn’t been a bad year and things had progressed fairly well, leaving the future looking hopeful and positive. Although I did manage to become unwell in between Christmas and New Year, a bug or virus that dragged on for about a month before being able to shake it off. The first few months of 2020 were laden with unexpected bills and expenses, I felt as if I was just surviving and not really living. It was a little depressing and took its toll on me, but I managed to rise above the gloom as I usually do by taking control of my feelings and emotions. Just when I thought things were looking more settled, along came more expenses, prolonging the somewhat bleak period.
We are all too well aware how things went sideways globally from March and still causing suffering and chaos everywhere, with no end in sight! In addition to the bad year start, this became a touch too much for me to cope with, affecting me in several ways and none of them good. The stress and worry had increased; a result of the length of time in confinement plus everything else that I have been picking up that’s happening around the world. I find it very disturbing and have hinted at this in my previous articles. My articles may continue to make references in that way, but here I only refer to it in relation to the effect on my personal wellbeing.
My core being is one of a spiritual nature, although I do not make this a leading priority in my daily life, it sits in the background like a pillow I can fall into and feel better. I have found myself thinking more and more of how I’ve been feeling unsettled and ill at ease with the world, lacking motivation and enthusiasm, being lethargic and wasting my time day after day! That really hasn’t been me ever, so you can understand how this has affected me.
I started to discuss my feelings with some close friends, explaining my need to center myself and feel in control of my life again. In addition, and for no apparent reason that I could pin point, I wanted to be in contact with my spiritual side more and understand that side of me better. It was suggested that I may be interested in a hypnotherapy session with a good friend; we talked about how the process worked which I liked the sound of and agreed to have my first session.
Finding a new perspective
It was a Saturday morning and I was feeling in a slightly better mood, perhaps simply because I had mad a decision to do something about my situation! After lunch I put on some relaxing piano music and lit some incense sticks, creating a nice scented air and masking the aromas of my earlier cooking, but I like the vibe too. A couple of hours passed with more incense sticks, accompanied by the dulcet tones of relaxed riffs of therapeutic piano. I was in a very calm and chilled mood when the doorbell rang; welcoming in my friend, she commented on the music, incense, and my super relaxed demeaner.
We sat down and discussed what I sought from the session, after which she began to guide me into a relaxed state; but I was already ahead of her and slipping into a very comfortable place in my mind. The dialogue continued to guide me, as I began visualising her words as she spoke, to the best of my ability. I began walking along a path that cut through long grass, down towards a wood, on through the trees where the ferns brushed against my legs and arms. Breaking out onto a sandy beach that curved off into the distance, not a cloud in the sky with the bright sun dancing on the waves as they sparkled in the distance. Walking along the beach until the sand became wet beneath my feet, leaving the impression of my feet behind me. l stopped to look up, to see a large fluffy white cloud that had appeared above me. All my bad feeling began to spiral upward in a white and grey smokey trail into the cloud, finally breaking away as the tail of the spiral disappeared, moving up into the cloud.
It ended there and I was eased out of my deep relaxed state. It felt that I had experienced a ‘change’ but uncertain exactly how or what! She explained that it would take a couple of days to assimilate the effect of the session and I would begin to understand or relate to the experience quite soon.
I didn’t have to wait that long! The very next morning I woke quite normally, to a bright sunny day and a good start for any day. Within a few minutes of being up and about, my mind was shifting into thoughts of my self perception as I began talking to myself. I said out aloud, I am wonderful, somebody would be lucky to know me and have me as a companion, I am special, I can do what I want, I could fall in love and anything was possible! All I had to do was believe that is was all possible, it really was that simple! The power of that thought, belief and realisation shook me like force penetrating my soul. It was very profound making the day very special. I was so energised and uplifted, I was full of energy, positive and determined and achieved more in one day than I had in the past month. I felt like I have found my center and balance again. But it never ended there.
Three days later another stage of development took place. I came to understand how I had eliminated so much from happening in my life, by cancelling out possibilities by my surrender to the acceptance and belief that those things could not happen, as result of my present lifestyle and being a little more than midway through my transition. I had learned that morning that my hospital appointments had been cancelled for a third time, leaving me again unclear if the final stages and surgery will ever happen under the recent world chaos and changes!
But I am ok, I having discovered that my thinking, perception and self-beliefs had been rotated by 180 degrees with my new found perspective, giving me a new outlook and future, an understanding that if I simply believe it’s all possible, then it stands a good chance of becoming reality. Such an immense shift in my ability to comprehend my own power of thought and a linked sequence of steps:- Thought, Action and Effect –OR– Effect, Thought and Action.
I am empowered and in flight!
We all want to love and be loved – and it’s all possible – even for me.