Adversity creates change

There is more than one path to becoming the person you want to be, it doesn’t have to be one of suffering and pain

Not that I have encountered anyone yet, but you may be among the fortunate who find their way to transition with pain, suffering and torment along the way. That may be a symptom of those of us out there who were born into an environment where any kind of sexual expression was not acceptable and subsequently faced the difficulties throughout their life path to transition. I have observed changes in social acceptance in recent years in many countries, but equally still lacking severely in others. Currently and more worrying I have read of cases where it seems to be getting worse in some places.

From my own perspective, I spent many years in the shadows of myself and unable to break free from the life I had created for myself as a man. I had consciously dug myself into hole that was hard to see a way out of. I convinced myself that I was doing what I should do without questioning anything, until I realised many years later, that I had not followed a path to create a happy life for myself.

It took two marriages, two children, plus a further long relationship that also failed, before I was forced to examine my life in a deeper way than I had ever done before. I arrived in France with my partner, who I was together with for 12 years until our relationship finally decayed beyond repair seven years later, when I found myself living alone. It was an extremely troubling time in my life, living in a foreign country with limited language skills and no regular employment, the future looked bleak. Breaking up from a 12-year relationship is not likely to be the happiest moment in your life and this one fulfilled that hole totally. I slipped in to a mild state of panic and maybe a level of depression, but enough to drag me down into a negative thinking black hole for a period of time. One where I drank far too much and indulged in ways of losing myself in a haze of intoxication to shut out the reality that I believed I was in.  

Life became difficult financially and remained that way for the next three years. During that time, I was forced to re-evaluate my life in great detail and considered what options I had. I eventually chose to view my position in a very different way as a result of that process. I decided that my life really wasn’t so bad after all, that I was actually very grateful for many things that I did have; a house that was mine, enough money for food, heat the house during winter and go out occasionally to socialise or meet friends if I was careful with resources.

That in itself was a big step that contributed to further developments that took my life towards a better place. The point I am making here is that, I had to go through very unpleasant conditions that I perceived were outside of my control, where I felt my back was against the wall and with few options of which direction I could go from there!

The period of extreme adversity that I faced at that point in my life, forced me to make big changes in the way I thought and perceived and how I was living my life. The process that I went through was not one I would have freely chosen. It was quite an unpleasant period in my life and would not wish to return to. However, contrary to what happened, without this series of events taking place in my life, I wonder if I would ever have reached the point where I accepted myself and began my transition.

So why I am writing about this now?

During this year, my life has continued along a path of discovery and learning and one that I willingly pursue with open arms. I believe that there are far better ways that we can bring about the same dramatic changes that I went through to get to where I am today.  I know from conversations with others, that dealing with adversity is not an uncommon event that forces big changes in our lives and in particular regard to transitioning.

The pivotal issue here, is an experience that challenges our thinking and behaviour to the degree where we have no other choice but to accept the revised alternatives that break us free from our programmed and conditioned pattern of life, where can recreate from a new mindset based upon our own choices and desires. It creates such an overwhelming and totally consuming feeling inside you, uplifting every aspect of your being, that you are left wondering why you never discovered this earlier in your life, is a tragedy!


I will list just one here, that I understand can help in creating the desired effect of changing your life and getting you to where you want to be, without encountering adversity as I have experienced. It is something that is within the reach of everyone! The only cost is your time, commitment and belief in yourself to achieve this – and that one thing is meditation!* Some of you will with no doubt scoff at such an idea I am pretty sure! If you care to do your own research with an open mind into this world, you will find cases and examples where people do create amazing changes in their lives by using meditation as a part of self-development and creation of greater awareness. It’s just a matter of how much you are prepared to invest into yourself, your life and your future happiness.

If you had a choice, that you could make those changes yourself, why would you not do that today and everyday?

Adversity has arrived

What I am seeing around us all, is extreme adversity taking place on a global scale! I feel certain this will unquestionably bring about huge changes on a scale we have never witnessed in our lifetimes. I bring this to your attention to allow you to prepare yourself in the best way possible; to be informed is to be armed! The changes we are likely to experience will be varied, some difficult to deal with and others consoling perhaps, as we move through the events that present themselves to us in the future. The more grounded and centered you can be in yourself, physically in your health, in your, mind, in spirituality, awareness, understanding, happy and accepting of yourself, then you will be better equipped to deal with the effects from a position of stability. Able to make your own choices and decisions that align with your conscious and subconscious thinking.

So that I finish here on a positive note: I also believe in the balance of nature and its ability to restore equilibrium, in time and rejuvenate life back to a better place than we are experiencing now! 

*Meditation is an important aspect, that will allow you to change a great deal in your life. To benefit from the effects fully, a programme of learning and guidance, linked to your mediation is more likely to create the results desired. Like all powerful things we acquire in life, this is not simple to achieve and will require, time, commitment, regular practice and an open mind that allows you to believe that this is possible. A degree of faith in yourself and the greater powers that exist in this world that are there for all to enjoy freely. A path used by many and that many more will follow. 

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