Developing wings

A retrospective

Much of my early years were filled with instability, lack of understanding and a sense of loneliness. Looking back on that time, I believe that I had already encountered something that was set to hold me back for some time to come, but completely unaware of it or what it was at that time. I continued in life as if I were fumbling and stumbling in a dimly lit room trying to work out what and where everything was and perhaps even find a door or window.

Without anyone to guide me, no map, no idea where I was going or where I could go. Not a single clue! I suspect there are quite a lot of others who may be able to relate to what I describe, and even those who felt in a less friendly place than I did, but we all have to deal with where we are in ourselves and life at any given time, always. And so life continues on.

Clearly, I wasn’t in a dimly lit room, and my childhood was overall a good one. But we need to bear in mind that every detail of our immediate environment will affect and influence every level of our development, the culture in which we grow, sense, learn and discover. That environment can be a creation in our mind and or externally, or a mixture of both which I feel is more of how this works.

The main influencers to us are our parents or guardians. In my case, I believe that things started pretty well for myself and my sister. However, we live in a constantly changing, universe at all levels, with humanity changing within nature. This is to be expected, and how we grow and evolve.

With so many infinite possibilities in that mix, it is inevitable that there are good and bad things that find their way into our lives to prompt a multitude of changes of all natures. My home life was quite average in the main but with streaks of disruptive and destructive energy. As I grew older, my father became a little more distant and troubled within himself. Neither myself, sister or mother understood why, or how this happened as it silently filtered into our lives like an invisible contagion.

The impact and long term effect could not be foreseen or considered, so we all went through family life in ignorance of it growing as a force and energy that would create imbalance, confusion, stress, tears and a host of emotions we didn’t choose to feel or invite; purely by our own lack of understanding and ability.

It has only been fairly recently, that I have become able to understand much more clearly, to free myself of the entanglement and confusion of that part of my life that had evaded my comprehension for almost 60 years. It’s never too late!

It has been a journey of extremes, highs and lows, good and bad, great joy and sadness. A high is followed by the opposite, not immediately, but will surely follow in time. We need to embrace life’s adaptive lessons and move on, learn to empower ourselves at each stage as we elevate our mind body and soul, continuously, if we are able to allow it to happen.

My present ability to stand outside of this life, my life, and look in as a spectator watching a video of it all, has become able with increased awareness, only during the past few years, but with a separation from the past and the present. A process that breaks the chains of those earlier restricted times that prevented me from moving forward, forcing me to revisit them until I did learn. Nature does not create, embody or support anything with what it does not need, it is that simple. We are nature and nature is what we are.

Certain plants are generally considered as weeds and do our best to prevent, stop or destroy them! A mentality that I believe we need to rethink, as it is too close to home for comfort in how we can live our lives when we see a bigger picture. Over the years weeds have been dug and pulled up, or sprayed with poison in an attempt to control and eradicate them. Have they ceased to be? No, they most certainly have not, and why is that? The more we try our best to eliminate them we are simply making them stronger and more resilient. They push their way through concrete, cover walls and grow where little else is able to root or survive. Extremely hardy and resilient.

We are so much like a weed in our resilience and tenacity to survive, that it leads me to make stronger connections with all life forms and ourselves. Look for a moment how people manage to carve a life and existence in some of the most remote and hostile landscapes on the planet. How people can endure and survive all kinds of encounters and challenges throughout our lives to evolve to a higher self, through the adversity those moments bring to our experience. We live across the globe in every environment we possibly can, and in a way just like any other species of life on the earth that occupies its own equivalent space.

By understanding that, and approaching everything with a cooperative and harmonious perspective that is present in nature, before we have thought, speak or take action, would create such a better outcome. Become aware and reconnect to our senses, those we have lost to use fully, smell, see, hear, feel, touch and taste, as we were once able.

Most people do not even breathe correctly, restricting the valuable oxygen that our body requires to maintain our health and well being. Mouth breathing alone is a cause for many health issues and conditions, with around 60% of people mouth breathing during sleep.

I conclude this by coming back to the title of Developing wings. You may see this as childlike, or a fantasy concept, however, it is a metaphor that conjures up an image of how I feel. I cannot overlook the experiences, growth and understanding that I have encountered, over the course of the past nine years in particular. Much of that was present long before that point, but my awareness at that time did not allow me to view certain events and things in a better and informed way.

I trust and believe in myself completely, it is where I consider, that we have to go inside ourselves to find the deepest of connections of our existence and connection with all things. This is where I stand now, today and forevermore, I stand in my own truth. I am empowered, I am a free spirit, I am energy, I am a force, I am divine, I am consciousness, I am also a human being. I exist in physical and non-physical dimensions, much or which I am yet to understand if ever possible. I accept, in place of question, that frees from the confusion that holds so many in a confined way and myself for many years.

I choose to share this with others along with what I learn and experience along this path. I am living my life’s purpose knowingly and consciously. I wake with a heart full of love that gets filled further daily. Life is just so rich in its beauty and magic as we as humans are too. The amazing thing that occurs in our bodies every second of our life, is no less amazing than the universe itself because that is what we are.

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